A Letter to my Cat — Dear Connie


Dear Connie, you came to me so little, so fragile and I was supposed to get you through to adoption age, take you back and let someone else love you…  I knew the minute that you were in my hand that you were for me and I was for you.  I knew you were never going back, that I would have the pleasure of loving you for the rest of your life. Image

And that I did.  My girl, I loved you more than life sometimes. 

You were so small, yet so mighty.  I will never forget the night that I heard growling coming from the window ledge and then say your brothers Alistair and Billy high tail it off the ledge and up the hall…  The growling did not stop.  When I investigated, you the smallest of the three, were growling at a VERY LARGE raccoon on the other side of the screen…  You were never scared. Image

You grew but never got big.  Seven pounds was where you maxed out but crazy you were.  I had to double sided tape all of my frames to the walls, because you would leap off the floor and knock them off the wall.  You climbed everything, I had to secure the shelves to the walls so they would not rattle when you lept from the floor to the very top.  You knocked my Royal Doutlon onto the floor and proceeded to use the broken off head to play with like a ball.  Image

You made me laugh…  With all of these things, you still had my heart. 

We added Merlin and then he got sick, then Billy got sick and we lost them both.  But you and Ali remained.  You remained with me through thick and thin. 

We added Coby and Belle and you loved them.  You’d play with them through the cage and they would bite your paws and they would tweet for you.  Image

You loved Egg McMuffins, and all kinds of human food, you loved no one though…  I had to tell everyone to not bug you, but when your Dad came into our lives you loved him… 

You helped me through the worst times of my life and you were with me through some of the best.  You lay with your Dad through depression, you soft fur, comforting.

I miss you baby girl, I miss you more than you will ever know.  

You kept Arrow in his place and loved Brody. 

You have left a big hole in our hearts and our home.  Image

I am just grateful you made it to our house.  Your brother Ali didn’t he missed it by two months.  

I would give anything to have your with me again, but I always knew that I would have to say good-bye and that losing you would be the hardest thing.

I hope you are well where you are.  I hope you have found all of your brothers.  I hope they are taking care of you…  Well I am sure you are taking care of everything, because that is what you always did…  Image

You are in the arms of Nanny now.  And I have comfort in knowing that. 

I will love you forever by beautiful girly! 

Till we meet again! 




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Another V-Day Under our Belts’

So, I got a message last night saying that someone is following my blog.  I actually came here and looked at it.  I got a little sad.  I love writing, I love my blog.  I have not written for a long time.  My Grandmother’s passing seemed to signal a change in my life that has not brought me back to what I love.  Writing.  

We lost her, we moved my grandfather, we moved to a new house, work changed, got a puppy, got depressed, got on back on my meds, got my head better…  Here we are.  

Looking at my blog made me want to write.  So, here I am. 

So we are two weeks out from Valentine’s Day but I wanted to write about it.  

Everyone knows something about the Day of Love, here is a little history. 

Saint Valentine’s Day, also known as Valentine’s Day or the Feast of Saint Valentine,[1] is observed on February 14 each year. It is celebrated in many countries around the world, although it is not a holiday in most of them.

St. Valentine’s Day began as a liturgical celebration of one or more early Christian saints named Valentinus. Several martyrdom stories were invented for the various Valentines that belonged to February 14, and added to later martyrologies.[2] A popular hagiographical account of Saint Valentine of Rome states that he was imprisoned for performing weddings for soldiers who were forbidden to marry and for ministering to Christians, who were persecuted under the Roman Empire. According to legend, during his imprisonment, he healed the daughter of his jailer, Asterius. An embellishment to this story states that before his execution he wrote her a letter signed “Your Valentine” as a farewell.[3] Today, Saint Valentine’s Day is an official feast day in the Anglican Communion,[4]as well as in the Lutheran Church.[5] The Eastern Orthodox Church also celebrates Saint Valentine’s Day, albeit on July 6 and July 30, the former date in honor of the Roman presbyter Saint Valentine, and the latter date in honor of Hieromartyr Valentine, the Bishop of Interamna (modern Terni). In Brazil, the Dia de São Valentim is recognized on June 12.

So James and I have spent Valentine’s Day together for the last eight years.  In the beginning it was, you know, all about being together and what we would get each other and the next year about outdoing the last.  

Now we just want to be together.  Don’t get me wrong, we aren’t complacent, it’s not that we don’t do things or want to do things, for each other it’s just times have changed…  We have a house this equals less disposable income for things like this. 

So, at the last minutes (5:00 PM) on February 14th, 2014 James called me and said “wanna go to www.thetexaslonghorn.ca?”  Of course, since this is my FAVOURITE place to go…  I said “yes”.  

With no reservation ON VALENTINE’S DAY, we set out…  I some how got my purse handle wrapped around the coffee James had in the cup holder and ended up pulling it over onto myself…  James exclaimed “well I guess we’re not going to dinner now…”  to which I replied “*%&^&*()$& RIGHT WE ARE!  I’ll just tell them I’m wearing eau de http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juan_Valdez”  He just laughed. 

We drive from Etobicoke where he picks me up to Whitby.  Get in and find out there is an hour wait.  I am determined that I am having dinner here so we wait. 

There are a myriad of 20 some-things, in cowboy/girl get ups greeting everyone who walks in.  

As we are waiting a couple guys come in and the girl at the desk asks “Do you have a reservation?”  So he replies “yah, it’s under J Geils…”  I look at James he looks at me we grin…  She goes up and down the reservation list and the guy starts giggling…  She says “we don’t have anything like that…”  So he looks at his friend and says “maybe Michael Jackson?”  Then she clues in…  He’s fooling around…  EVERYONE over the age of 30 waiting for a table starts laughing…  This poor kid has no idea who J Geiles is…  Let alone that his Angel is a Centrefold!  

She ushers this joker to the bar.  

We wait…

We finally are called and head to our table, where Cherokee (apparently her real name, James asked) comes to serve us.  We order our drinks and she says…  “I have a proposition for you and I am only asking you ’cause I can see you are cool…”  Good saleswoman work there…  “We have a contest on today to see who can get the most full orders, I mean, alcoholic beverages, appetizers, meals, dessert and coffee.  If you order I will be in the lead…”  MORE good saleswoman-ship!  So we agree and order deep fried avocado bits…  

I fell in love with them, James could not even put them in his mouth.  The fact that avocado is smooth to begin with is just exacerbated by deep frying it…

So then our dinner comes, chimichanga for me, all that deep fried cheesy goodness (I love whomever decided to put a burrito in some oil) and a steak and mashers for James.  

Dinner comes…  It is lovely as always.  

Singing to the music Miss Cherokee brings our dessert, vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce.  I say “You know all the words to every song.”  She says “You caught me.  I really like this new country, I’m not so into the old stuff…”  So I begin a conversation with her about country music…  Well those of you who follow me on FACEBOOK know how that ends. 

Anyway…  After eight Valentine’s Days together, we’re not the mushy mushy kind.  We still spend the night together, we still say I love you but in all honestly we do that every night.  

It wasn’t a lavish night, it was a night we enjoyed, cover in coffee, with some giggles and holding hands as we walked to the car, while I sang and James said “Oh LORD, here we go.”  

We went home and the boys 

Brody and Arrow.  The Boys.  One of my personal pics.

Brody and Arrow. The Boys. One of my personal pics.

were waiting for us…  We took them out and then came in, got in our pjs and cuddled on the couch while we watched Wahlburgers. 

Then it was off to bed so we could start our Saturday of fixing the stove, cleaning and other things that you have to do in life. 

I hope you all had a great V-Day…  I know I did!  


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Filed under Arrow, Brody, Burrito, James, Texas Longhorn, Uncategorized

Audible.com, Try it You’ll Like it!

Audible.com, Try it You'll Like it!

http://www.audible.com/ is where you will find this wonderful foray into the art of listening to books. I’ve been a member for the last year and have listened to a total of 52 of these little gems. I have to say that this is a saving Grace for me since I do not actually have time to sit down and read, between working full-time, taking courses part-time, commuting for four hours a day to and from work, only to come home to a house full of crazy furry beings and a boyfriend who want to “do something…” all the time, I have missed out on may lovely books. However I have realized that the four hours of commuting time is an ace up my sleeve… I can listen to the books I have wanted to read for so long. I have a GREAT long list of books but here are a few just to tied you over…

Giant George
Katie Up and Down the Hall
The Dog Who Danced
Anything and Everything by Jon Katz
anything and Everything by by Leland and Angelo Dirks
anything and Everything by Lucy Dillon…

Well there you have it, I LOVE animal Stories, you should try some out… They are sometimes funny , sometimes sad, sometimes informative, sometimes they take you away, sometimes you just don’t want them to end. If you are a reader and love getting lost in a book but find that you don’t have the time to sit down with one… Try this out… You just may be surprised… Let me know your thoughts!

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August 20, 2013 · 3:13 pm

Check it out. I just saw Heschel from the Heart on the Day School Video Academy Awards: The Sequel. #JDSVA #jed21

Check it out. I just saw Heschel from the Heart on the Day School Video Academy Awards: The Sequel. #JDSVA #jed21.

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Yup you read that right…  TODAY IS a BIG DAY FOR PRM! 11 dogs are officially loaded on the plane…just waiting for conifrmation that the plane has taken off…hoping and praying all goes well!

JDAM and AK are both so close to goal in less than 24 hours…you all are truly amazing!!

Donate here:
AK ♥ http://thepuppyrescuemission.chipin.com/ak-afghan-puppy
JDAM ♥ http://thepuppyrescuemission.chipin.com/jdam-afghan-puppy

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Filed under Afghanistan, Koochi Hound, PRM, Puppy rescue mission, Rescue

Search :: camh

Search :: camh.

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Filed under Addiction, books, CAMH, Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, Mental Health, online store

Oh! 2012 you are a Horrible Year…

So here I am again writing with bad news.  2012 has decided to be the worst year of my life. 

12 years ago in 2000 when my father passed away in the April two weeks before his 50th birthday I though my world might end…

This year I am beginning to think the Myans are right…  The world will end in December…  At least our family feels this way.

January 7th my Grandfather was admitted to Scarborough General Hospital, almost died twice, recovered and was transferred to Providence Health Center. 

Sometime in February my Aunt faced her own Waterloo, with some stuff that I won’t go into on this public forum.

March 31st my Grandmother had a stroke and on April 27th passed away, leaving us all with a huge void and me scrambling to find somewhere to live.

On May 14th my Grandfather was sent home to live with my Aunt (yes the one from above) only 12 hours later to be admitting to Oshawa General due to a severe, bladder, liver and kidney infection and a week later and on some strong antibiotics he was released back to her home.

That very same day my beloved cat Alistair who was 17 years old passed away peacefully on my lap.

Now tonight I have found out that my Aunt’s (again the one from above) father-in-law just passed away from septicemia at Markham/Stouffville hospital.  This is two grandparents lost to my cousins within four weeks.

WHAT THE HELL did we do…?  Is this punishment for something…?  Is this a lead up to the world ending on 12/12/12?

I don’t know.  I just know enough is bloody well enough.  It’s not even the half way mark through this God-forsaken year and already we are up to our ears in SHITE!

Something has to give…  Something has to go well!  Something…  Please no more…

What more can one family take? 

I remember thinking at Christmas last year that my Grandfather was so sick that I could not miss Christmas dinner, it might be my last with him…  Well the joke was on me…  It was the last with a lot of my loved ones.

I have known Mr. McDonald, since I was three.  I remember going to his house with my Aunt and her then husband…  Sitting in the basement play with Skidattle the dog…

My life is changing like a whirlwind.

My beloved cottage is being sold.  My Grandparents’ home, where I used to lie on the couch and watch Bonanza and Fraggle Rock on Sunday afternoons while the grown-ups prepared food, is being sold.  Someone is going to have memories of the back garden like I do…  Only thier own memories.  I don’t want to share this with anyone. 

Someone will smell my Grandmother’s lilac, and eat the rhubarb. 

Someone is going to have fun in the basement where I once did a summer-salt and landed head first into the china cabinet and smashed the glass…  Where for years we had New Years parties.  Where my Aunts who are only 12 and eight years older than me use to scare me with rubber hallowe’en masks.


My Grandfather is very sad right now because seems everyone around him is going…

I don’t know much what to say, except that I am mad.  I am MAD that we are all going through so much and unable to really stop it.

This is the year I turn 40.  Aren’t we supposed to celebrate that milestone…?  Is anyone going to be in a celebrating mood! 

Anyway.  I have to go and sort out my head. 

Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.  At least I have my health, my job, a roof over my head, my little family, my extended family and good friends. 

I just hope I can make it through June without anymore calls that start with “I just called to tell you…” and the soft sympathetic voice trails off…  “So and so just passed away!”



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